I WILL NEVER MOVE

I'm going to try something new.. a religious post every sabbath day. 

Today, while getting ready, I was listening to my "sunday best" playlist.  This song came on and for the first time I payed close attention to the words and they were exactly how I was feeling today.

Jenny Phillips - "I Will Never Move" Lyrics

We live
Underneath these stars
For just a time
And you promised us
If we would seek
Then we would find
Well I have found you
And I have found your Holy Son
And I stand amazed
At all that you have done
And

There’s no way
To repay you for my life
For every breath and every mercy
And all your light
And I could never thank you
For the times you’ve held me up
With your mighty hands
But you can be sure
That I will stand with you
And I will never move

Your power
Is the strongest thing
I’ve ever known
I need you
I will hold to you
And never let go
You are constant
Like the steady Northern star
And I will follow you
With all the strength of my heart
‘Cause

god bless the mr. who comes between me and my SISTER

have you ever had ONE OF THOSE DAYS where you feel like blogging but you honestly don't have anything to blog about? well, today (in all my laziness) that is how I have felt.  So i started reading other blogs and racking my brain to think of something to blog about. 

Today... it's an homage to the sisters in my life....

KRISTI
ok, this is my firecracker sister. She's a ski instructor, rock climber, cycler, mother, wife, camper, and a SISTER.  Last weekend while I was home I wanted to use a gift certificate I had for a pedicure ... I picked her up and we sat in massage chairs for an hour talking, laughing, and getting pampered! afterwards she treated me to dinner at Iggy's where we watched BYU get killed in the MWC championship.  It was a great day. Later that night i got a text that said this... Super fun tonight. Love you.  Her facebook status today.. i have the best sisters and brother.  She is so very great! Next year she will be my guest in the MUSS and I can't wait.  She is so great and she is always down for a good movie or a hot tubbing session! I love her and I hope to be half as great as her one day.

TRISHA
My tuta... she is superwomen! she is the most awsome mother I've ever seen! Those kids always comes first! she does everything she can for them.  I look up to her so much! One of the things i love about her... If i ever have a cooking question and I can't get ahold of my mother-she is the next number I dial! I can't wait to be home next year and she will be my workout buddy! I miss working out with her! I love our sandwich loft trips we take.  She is one of my best friends and I know that she will always support me and want what's best for me.  Not to mention she picked an awesome husband that supports me just as much as she does.  I want to be a mother, wife, and cook like she is. 

BRITTANY
She is my closest in age sister.  She is always down to hangout with me! she is my example! she is so driven and goal oriented! I know that if i'm dealing with something, especially a big decision, she will know exactly what to say to make me feel better.  She teaches me so much about life and especially about the gospel.  She has a light about her that i want to one day have.  She is always supporting me and wanting what's best for me.  I love how much fun we can have together.  I hardly ever notice that there is a 7 year gap between us, sometimes it feels like we are twins! She is my best friend and I am so grateful for her.  She is such a powerful force in my life.  She makes life fun and makes moving home an easy thing to do.  I love her.

SUZANNE
so even though she's not my "blood sister" she has been in my life as long as i can remember.  I'm pretty sure i was 5 when she married my brother Jason so it's easy to say I don't really remember a time before her.  She is always down for a good juicy chat.  She recently had a long conversation with me about my wedding. Don't freak i'm not engaged or getting married or anything.  She just gave me pointers on the time frame of planning my wedding... if i marry bryce.  It's so nice that she will come out and say what I've been thinking.  Letting me know that "hey, it's normal to think about marrying him and when you will get married.  everyone does." she is so real and honest and I love that about her.  She is so good to my brother and I want to be like her.  She supported him through medical school while working as a nurse and was so selfless through all of that. I love her.. she is a way fun and great addition to our family.

so... SISTERLY LOVE!!!!! I want to one day have daughters so that they can experience what i have been so blessed to experience.  I am so grateful for each of my sisters and the support they give me.  I couldn't ask for better. 

childhood places....

We all have those childhood places. 
The places where we grew, played, laughed, and learned. 
The places we will never forget. 
The places we will tell our children about one day. 
For some, it may be a grandmothers house.  For others it may be a neighbors or relatives home.  
For me, it is Brighton LDS Girls Camp. 

It opened in 1922 and was dedicated by President Heber J. Grant and "The camp would provide the young women with a means to escape the pressures of city life, and encourage them to appreciate God, others, themselves, and their natural surroundings."

This is what it has done in my life and many others lives.  My sister spent several summers up there as a camper and then as a counselor and director.  I had never truely considered it until this year.  Then one day I thought, what better way to grow in the gospel and become closer to my Heavenly Father? 

I feel so blessed that I have been given the opportunity to work at this camp. 

I will be up there for 9 weeks, monday through friday.  It all boils down to around $26 dollars a day but like they say up at brighton... you come here for the experience not for the money.  There aren't very many other phases of life where I will be able to pick experience over money so I am grabbin this opportunity while I can. 

Yes, my summer may be filled with less pool sides and more hikes, less snowcones and more dutch ovens, less hangouts and more work, but it will be filled with MORE GOSPEL. 

So if you are looking for me this summer, i will be in the mountains!

Of Things That Matter Most

This last SUNDAY i had the privilege to teach Relief Society.  This, by the way, is my first time teaching in an actual lesson setting.  You could say I was a little nervous.  Luckily my lovely sister Brittany was up visiting and I don't know a better person to help me prepare.  My lesson was on the talk by Elder Uchtdorf called "Of Things That Matter Most"... for those of you who HAVEN'T read or heard that talk...I recommend it. 

                                                       So in the midst of my day of planning my lesson I ALSO had to study for a CHEM TEST (which i was nowhere near prepared for), and make homemade pizzas for "family dinner".  It was one of those days where I felt like there weren't enough hours in the day to get everything done that I needed to finish.  I felt like I could never take a breath...

"One of the characteristics of modern life seems to be that we are moving at an ever-increasing rate, regardless of turbulence or obstacles.

Let’s be honest; it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives." 

All day long I kept thinking to myself ....I am not even following the counsel given in this talk. I need to SLOW DOWN! I was rushing, I was overloading my plate.. so that night after my lesson went smoothly, homemade pizzas were a huge hit, and I had studied chemistry and felt prepared for it MIRACULOUSLY I climbed in bed with knots in my head from my rushed day so i pulled out my phone to shoot bryce a quick e-mail... get it off my mind and send it off to him :).  If he was here i would have dialed his number and talked so the e-mail was the next best thing.  I basically vented for a couple paragraphs and thank goodness his p-day is Monday so that next morning after my chem test i got a response...

so aubri i love you and don't you worry when i get home i will "help you study"
haha you know what that mean haha but no aubri about the talk thing about
setting time aside for yourself don't worry about that think about it when you
were preparing your lesson you learned a lot about the gospel right there and
when you where making the pizza stuff you where making it so you could go
to a dinner night and hangout with your friend and that they could enjoy the
great cooking you made haha but ya just think about that just because you don't like do other stuff you always have time to yourself

This boy-if you don't know him I feel bad for you.  And if you know him I'm sure that you can see just from this short paragraph-how much he has changed and grown.  He wouldn't have known to say that before he left but now-made me feel so much better. and it turns out .. 100% on my chem test! like for real?! that's possible in college? so I'm sorry my posts always turn to Bryce.  When I write about my feelings.. He just comes to my fingertips onto the keyboard.  I try not to overload my friends by talking about him 24/7.. so I tend to overload my blog.  so here.... my favorite section of Uchtdorf's talk. It is pretty incredible.

First, our relationship with God is most sacred and vital. We are His spirit children. He is our Father. He desires our happiness. As we seek Him, as we learn of His Son, Jesus Christ, as we open our hearts to the influence of the Holy Spirit, our lives become more stable and secure. We experience greater peace, joy, and fulfillment as we give our best to live according to God’s eternal plan and keep His commandments.

We improve our relationship with our Heavenly Father by learning of Him, by communing with Him, by repenting of our sins, and by actively following Jesus Christ, for “no man cometh unto the Father, but by [Christ].” ¹⁰ To strengthen our relationship with God, we need some meaningful time alone with Him. Quietly focusing on daily personal prayer and scripture study, always aiming to be worthy of a current temple recommend—these will be some wise investments of our time and efforts to draw closer to our Heavenly Father. Let us heed the invitation in Psalms: “Be still, and know that I am God.” ¹¹

Our second key relationship is with our families. Since “no other success can compensate for failure” ¹² here, we must place high priority on our families. We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together. In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayer, gospel study, and Sunday worship.
                       

The third key relationship we have is with our fellowman. We build this relationship one person at a time—by being sensitive to the needs of others, serving them, and giving of our time and talents. I was deeply impressed by one sister who was burdened with the challenges of age and illness but decided that although she couldn’t do much, she could listen. And so each week she watched for people who looked troubled or discouraged, and she spent time with them, listening. What a blessing she was in the lives of so many people.

The fourth key relationship is with ourselves. It may seem odd to think of having a relationship with ourselves, but we do. Some people can’t get along with themselves. They criticize and belittle themselves all day long until they begin to hate themselves. May I suggest that you reduce the rush and take a little extra time to get to know yourself better. Walk in nature, watch a sunrise, enjoy God’s creations, ponder the truths of the restored gospel, and find out what they mean for you personally. Learn to see yourself as Heavenly Father sees you—as His precious daughter or son with divine potential.

whether you are religious or not... this should hit you... this is how simple the gospel is... this is how simple life is! we need to stop complicating things! I'm so grateful for the people in my life and for the relationships that I have.

breaking at the cracks....

so I'm in my room-performing miscellaneous tasks in preparation or bed. smooth, calming music? itunes search... colbie caillat.  maybe a bad choice. every line of almost every song puts me into thought that my body doesn't have energy for. life reels. without thinking i click the "facebook" button on the top of my screen. I almost enter in the status "breaking at the cracks" and then I thought... no body REALLY cares or will even understand what I'm saying. Hence the new post coming your way-whoever actually reads this.  So to those of you who are so bored that you are reading this post... yes I'm "breaking at the cracks".

I'm breaking at the cracks
And everything goes black
It's another heart attack
And I can't handle that
Woo~ Love I need you back

i miss those blue eyes

how you kiss me at night

i miss the way we sleep

like there's no sunrise

like the taste in your smile

i miss the way we breathe

no i can't spell it out for you
if you just realize what i just realized
that we'd be perfect for each other

the little things you do to me

are taking me over i wanna show you

everything inside of me

i don't know but i think i may be

falling for you dropping so quickly

i think i felt my heart skip a beat
we're standing here i can hardly breathe
you got me ya you got me

I'm running around without you baby

I'm running around all over town

but i look everywhere and no one compares

cause nothings as good

If the world stops turning

if the sun stops burning

when the cold wind starts to blow

i want to let you know

oh I'll never let you go



yes, colbie, you've got my life down to a tee. You have taken my heart and put it to a beat and made millions off of it.  I am literally here-breaking at the cracks.  One moment I feel completely in control and the next moment everything is put in perspective and I break down unexpectedly.  How much longer? How many more nights will I climb into bed without a kiss goodnight from the one I love? 507 days. JULY 12,2012. you are not coming fast enough.

valenTIMES

well happy valentines day, single awareness day, whatever you'd like to call it.  This valentines day I am stuck somewhere in the middle.  There is no card, no roses, no hot date. This is different, however, than my past valentines that didn't include these things. I am NOT loveless.  There is a boy, thousands of miles away, that loves me and is thinking about me today. I know he is wishing he was able to be here with me on valentines.  I'm proud of him for being where he should be, even if it isn't with me.
a little thing about him.. he calls this day valenTIMES day. I would always make fun of him for this... one of the words he says incorrectly.  I find it adorable. I have found myself saying it and writing it this way. 

I see the hustle and bustle of this day around me.  Friends planning dates, getting presents, concocting surprises.  I'd by lying if I said this didn't phase me. I do wish I had someone making plans for me... but in all honesty if it wasn't from my TRUE valenTIME then it wouldn't mean anything.  He is the one that i want a "happy valentines" from. he is the one i want "roses" from.  I want to sit at dinner with him. I want to kiss HIM goodnight. 

so for now... this valentines day. and the next. I will be a patient girl.  dateless, cardless, roseless, but NEVER loveless.




last valentines day... we were matching-not on purpose :) great minds think alike



so...to my boy in panama... HAPPY VALENTMES DAY!

life can get busy really quickly and needless to say, updating my blog usually goes to the back burner... if not completely off the stove. but I'm back.... not much to say as usual and not quite sure why the sudden urge to blog has come over me. the semester is well under way and I am in my first week of exams.  The week that is dreaded from the very beginning. It is amazing how I can go from honestly enjoying a class and then he mentions the first exam and it all goes away.  Honestly, why do we always have to be tested in life to prove that we are growing or learning?

while in this stage of my life.. it feels like every day is a test. a test of how smart I am. how popular I am. how loved I am. how driven I am.

I wish i could live outside of these tests but most are inescapable.  My major is exercise science. often this has the connotation of being one of the "EASY MAJORS". so what? i didn't choose it because it is an "EASY MAJOR" I chose it because I am interested in it.  Yes, pick up your jaw from the floor. people still do that. pick a major that will make them happy... not what will make them famous, rich, or brilliant.  I know that I am smart and I know I could go on and become something with 6 zeros tacked onto the end. but that's not what I've chosen. and those that support me... thank you.

In thinking about this I kind of put my relationship to the test. my loganite-missionary relationship that is. this kid, boy, man, elder that is loving me from thousands of miles away.. would he be proud of me even though I'm not shooting for the "rich" stars? you know what, he IS proud of me. he loves me for me and he knows that if I am happy then we will be happy. and I feel the same way about him.

      you know... i miss that a lot. having him here to listen to all my crazy thoughts, fears, and doubts. his amazing ability to kiss them all away. "I miss everything about you"

I am trying to use these two years to do everything an independent girl should do. meet people, date, go on crazy adventures, start a career, become strong, develop spiritually, and be perfectly fine without a man. well I'm doing SOME of these things.

my newest crazy adventure.. i applied to work at Brighton LDS girls camp. 9 weeks of the summer-guiding beehives.  I really hope that i will get the opportunity to do this. something selfless and meaningful.  This would also give me an incredible opportunity to grow in the gospel and gain an even stronger testimony.  I know that Bryce is out there growing SO much and that I'm growing in ways he isn't... but i wanted to get a taste of what he goes through every single day. I need to start taking advantage of this time I have all to myself. Make it worth while. 

so am I passing all of these "tests"? which "tests" am I failing if any? any extra credit?