life can get busy really quickly and needless to say, updating my blog usually goes to the back burner... if not completely off the stove. but I'm back.... not much to say as usual and not quite sure why the sudden urge to blog has come over me. the semester is well under way and I am in my first week of exams.  The week that is dreaded from the very beginning. It is amazing how I can go from honestly enjoying a class and then he mentions the first exam and it all goes away.  Honestly, why do we always have to be tested in life to prove that we are growing or learning?

while in this stage of my life.. it feels like every day is a test. a test of how smart I am. how popular I am. how loved I am. how driven I am.

I wish i could live outside of these tests but most are inescapable.  My major is exercise science. often this has the connotation of being one of the "EASY MAJORS". so what? i didn't choose it because it is an "EASY MAJOR" I chose it because I am interested in it.  Yes, pick up your jaw from the floor. people still do that. pick a major that will make them happy... not what will make them famous, rich, or brilliant.  I know that I am smart and I know I could go on and become something with 6 zeros tacked onto the end. but that's not what I've chosen. and those that support me... thank you.

In thinking about this I kind of put my relationship to the test. my loganite-missionary relationship that is. this kid, boy, man, elder that is loving me from thousands of miles away.. would he be proud of me even though I'm not shooting for the "rich" stars? you know what, he IS proud of me. he loves me for me and he knows that if I am happy then we will be happy. and I feel the same way about him.

      you know... i miss that a lot. having him here to listen to all my crazy thoughts, fears, and doubts. his amazing ability to kiss them all away. "I miss everything about you"

I am trying to use these two years to do everything an independent girl should do. meet people, date, go on crazy adventures, start a career, become strong, develop spiritually, and be perfectly fine without a man. well I'm doing SOME of these things.

my newest crazy adventure.. i applied to work at Brighton LDS girls camp. 9 weeks of the summer-guiding beehives.  I really hope that i will get the opportunity to do this. something selfless and meaningful.  This would also give me an incredible opportunity to grow in the gospel and gain an even stronger testimony.  I know that Bryce is out there growing SO much and that I'm growing in ways he isn't... but i wanted to get a taste of what he goes through every single day. I need to start taking advantage of this time I have all to myself. Make it worth while. 

so am I passing all of these "tests"? which "tests" am I failing if any? any extra credit?