hello dear.

"if you are the last one awake can you take the phone off the hook and put a pillow over it?"
there's a sentence I don't expect to hear from my mom before she goes to bed(at 7 pm)


As I walk away from the phone I just took off the hook ON PURPOSE... I hear the noise. 
ya know? that distinct noise phones make when they really want to be hung up? yup that one. did you know that every time someone calls your house when your phone is off the hook it will make that sound? (hence the pillow I'm guessing).  
every morning before my mom heads off to work she listens to the voice mails.
1:13 am, 3:25 am, 4:47 am and everything in between.  


she calls to tell of wonderful trips she just went on with her grandparents, ask us where her kids are or where her car is.  She asks where her mother is that visited earlier that day.  My all time favorite, because it happens annually, is her questions about taxes.  


When I answer the phone and I get a "hello dear" I know that I have a normal question about to be thrown at me and I welcome it gladly.  On the other hand when I hear a "is Sheryl there?" I know that she is having a rough day.. or a rough moment.  


I calm her down by saying "your kids are at Deanna's house" (who by the way is her youngest child.. I will never understand how that can make sense to her) or tell her that her mother died in 1972.  She says thank you before she gently hangs up the phone and then almost immediately redials and I hear her specific ringtone blaring through the house once again.  (honestly though, if my mom is home she is the only one who answers, God has given her enough patience and strength to make it through this on the daily)


My grandma.  Someone who is strong, loving, and compassionate is now lost, confused, and disoriented.  I miss my grandma.  my REAL grandma.  


It is a weird feeling to know that it just.. might be that time.  Time for them to go live somewhere FAR better than here.  Live with their family that has passed before them... including one of their children.  Time to return to their Heavenly Father who has missed them dearly. 


When that time comes I won't think of the crazy middle of the night phone calls or the "trips" she is going on. I will think of the times we made jewelry at the kitchen table, times she held my hand while my grandpa worked on my teeth(he was a dentist), and all the times she said, "hello dear" when I answered the phone.