leu·ke·mi·a

There are some words in life.
Words we know but we never use.
We hear them in movies or books.
Then one day something happens in our life. A time when we use that word.
Then, in a blink of an eye, the word is familiar, common and all encompassing.

leukemia.

That's my word.
My word that I never thought I'd need. And now? Every day.. several times a day.
Being an aunt gives me one of the greatest joys I have ever experienced. 
They light up my life every single day.  They are funny, innocent, pure.
leukemia is trying to take that away from one of them. all of them in a way.
it is tugging at her innocence and pulling away her smile.

not fair.

that's what I say.

It's not fair.

She is too young, too innocent, too sweet.

But, cancer is not a respector of persons.

It makes me angry.  Some handle things like this with poise. With grace. With strengh.

I'm not to that point just yet. I'm still angry.

I'm angry that I have to watch this little girl suffer. I'm angry I can't do anything about it. I'm angry that I have to see tears in her parents eyes. I'm angry that I know my way around Primary Children's Medical Center.  I'm angry that I know the nurses and doctors by name.  I'm ANGRY.

I'm grateful for those around me that are walking with strength and acting with grace. They are getting me through the days. I'll get there... I'll find it.

I know that God is watching over this family.  I know that he KNOWS how this feels.  I know that he KNOWS how I feel. That is my strength. He is my strength. I think he is my whole family's strength.
She is strong. This girl can move mountains.  This will be one sucky ride. There will be pain, sickness, trial.  She may feel like quitting or giving in.  But, we won't let her.  She has more strength than she knows. 

When she comes out of this... she will know who she is, know what she stands for, know what her calling is.  Cancer has picked the wrong girl and the wrong family. 

Ashtyn-Remember your capabilities.  Remember your strengths.  There is an army forming in your behalf.  The battle cry has been sung and we are on the front lines.  We have come only for victory.  We will never give up and neither can you! We love you! Now Fight! 

Kaylee Bug

Ok so I'm a little behind. marriage. moving. family stuff. but here I am.
ON JANUARY 4, 2013 MY KAYLEE BUG HAD A BIRTHDAY!
now if you don't know kaylee... well I feel bad for you.

She is the spunkiest girl I know.
She is the first to notice if something is wrong and the first to make it better.
She always says she wants to be like me.. little does she know... I want to be like her.
She has an appetite for life like I've never seen. 
She loves to read and learn about new and fascinating things and she teaches me every day.
She always has a fun fact to share and truely... it usually blows my mind.

She is an emotional daughter of god who is in tune with what is around her.  Her passion for this family and the way she deeply cares about them is infectious.  She knows when something is wrong and it deeply effects her.  This has been a rough year for our family and after the tears always comes Kaylee Bug's smile to make the day better.

She picks up on everything we say (like most kids) but thens he remembers it and spits it back out at the funniest moments.
Our family WOULD NOT be the same without her. 
her red curly hair, her animal impressions, her hugs, her smile, her laugh and her love.
we are so blessed to have her.
She will never understand the role she plays in this family and how much we need her.
love you buggy!
love-aunt aubri

Ashy

My niece Ashtyn had a birthday... I am a little behind.  No one every told be how BUSY life is when you are going to school and planning a wedding! but better late that never! 

Ashtyn is my oldest niece! She is 12 years old.
I can't believe that I am an aunt to kids that are 12. I have been so blessed to have 12 years with this amazing young women! I have loved watching her grow and change.  She has moved from childhood to preteen all too fast sometimes! 

She has so much coming up in her life: young womens, middle school and BOYS! This is the transition time of her life... but I am not worried for her! 
she is a beautiful daughter of God who knows who she is and what she stands for.  I could not be more proud of her.  It is great to not only have a great niece but to have an amazing friend in her!  She is such a joy to our family and we would not be the same without her.  

Ashtyn I love you so much and I am excited to keep watching you grow and know that your Aunt Aubri and all your other aunts and uncles are here for you! Thank you for being so awesome.  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! one year older and wiser too!

love. aunt aubri. 

proud of my vote.

I lined up.
The smell of my old middle school halls swirling around me. 
I had my ID in hand.
I was sent to my booth.
time to VOTE.

my first time EVER voting for a president.

I had been so excited to participate in this election.
I knew that America was at a crossroads and it was time for changes to occur.
One by one... I went through the different names.
A republican here, democrat there, a vote for, a vote against.
The man handed me my sticker and I was on my way.
I would say that is the moment I felt the most pride as an American.
It was the first time I felt in control of my destiny as a citizen somehow.

Everyone talks SO MUCH politics all around leading up to the election but once you stand at the booth... it is just you.  You have all the freedom in the world to vote for whom ever you would like. No one can tell you which boxes to check. 

What an amazing opportunity, huh?

I know people say, "why vote in utah"? and while it may be true the republican will most likely always win Utah... wouldn't you like to be a part of what happens regardless? even if you are a democrat don't you want to contribute to that popular vote.
Watching the votes be counted it is a great feeling to know that one of those votes is yours.

Now, the candidate I voted for did not win.
I knew he had a chance and I was hopeful but things happen.
While I may disagree with some of the political standpoints of our current re-elected president, it is time to buckle down and support him.
I will pray for him and those he works with to lead the country in a valient manner.  I will pray that priorities will be assessed and the PERTINENT things will be accomplished.  I hope and pray that we don't have more of the same that we have had the past four years. I hope he proves us all wrong.
I'm not ignorant enough to say that the president has done NOTHING in four years, I just feel that he hasn't done the most important things.  I almost feel that his wife has tackled more important things than he has with all she has done with fitness and nutrition.
Fact is, we can't change the election now.  Things have been settled.  Time to lay in the bed we've made.  It is a time to come together-not time to "move to canada" (why would people want to move to canada?!)

I am grateful for the opportunity I had to participate in this election.  I am an American and I am still proud to be one.  Here's to the next four years. 

God Bless the USA.

baby collin.

my little collin had a birthday on sunday.
I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH OCTOBER BABIES.
He is growing up WAY to fast.  they all are in fact.
collin is the youngest of 2 boys to my sister kristi and her husband matt.
If you know Collin then you know one of the COOLEST kids around.
He is a little punk that you can't help but love.
My favorite thing to do with him is lay by him as he goes to sleep.
He will read me books, tell me about his day and his many adventures.
He holds my face to make sure I am listening and he tells me his stories without taking a breath.  After he has told of his adventures I tuck him in and he gives me a hug goodnight.
His excitement for life is unmatched and every day I see him a little of that rubs off onto me. 
I love this little boy with my whole heart. 
The impact he has made on me-he will never know.
His kindness and his love has made me a better person and I am forever grateful for that.
Being an aunt is the best job in the world and I am so lucky that collin is one of kids who gives me that name.
Happy birthday Collin! I love you so much!
(don't grow up ANY more.. just stop at this age)
love. aunt aubri.

mo mo.

my little niece morgan had a birthday on monday the 15th (i can not keep up with all the babies born in OCTOBER). 
I guess she isn't so little anymore.  She is getting taller by the day and her and her sister will tower over me soon. 
Morgan is the sweetest child... with an edge!
She is growing up and becoming her own person which is beautiful to see. 
As an aunt you want your nieces especially to be these upstanding daughters of god.  You want them to shine and be an example to the world of pure womanhood.  You want them to respect themselves and stand up for what they know is right. 
well... I don't worry about Morgan.  
She makes ME want to be better.  She is so sweet, loving and kind.  
She has her edge that is usually brought out by her older brother so it's understandable :)
I am so proud of her and all that she is.  
She has goals and she accomplishes them. 
She makes choices for herself which I admire so much.
She is a strong girl and always puts on a brave face in the way of trials.  
I can't wait til she is even older and our relationship can grow into something different but just as beautiful. 
I love you Morgan and I am very proud of you.  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
love. aunt aubri.

ethan.

this little guy.. another OCTOBER birthday. my family tends to have babies in october. It is kind of our thing.  

well little ethan had a birthday on 10-11-12 this year! how cool is that? 

He is the youngest in my brothers family and he brings up the caboose beautifully.  He is sarcastic and witty but will also melt your heart.  He doesn't say his "r" sounds well which is maybe my favorite thing.  

He, being one of the youngest, picks up on everything people say around him.  He thinks he is bigger than he his thanks to his big brother chandler showing him the ropes.  

He is the definition of a toe head with his bright blond hair. 

 He is always willing to have a sweet quiet conversation among all the craziness with his cousins.  He asks questions and cares about the answers.  He has little opinions about everything and he knows what he likes.  

He has a little tiny smile that glows through his tan skin that makes me, his aunt, love him EVEN more.  He is getting so big being in kindergarten this year.  

He is becoming quite the little man.  We are so blessed to have him be in our family to lighten the mood whenever things seem dark.  Little efun-efun... you are a very loved little boy and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!